So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
