never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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