yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
