he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I FOUND THE LEGS
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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