we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
