I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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