RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
