Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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