well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
