How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All the doctor said was why
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
