How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
