did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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