Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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