I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
