Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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