I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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