And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
