Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
