just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
