My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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