But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
