I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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