dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
