Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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