Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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