So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
