Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
