i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
