I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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