i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
