Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
