I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize