We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
