just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Help. Why am I so naked?
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