why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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