The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
