New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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