shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
