So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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