HIV tests are more positive than that guy
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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