I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
