garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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