I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
