CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
