So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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