I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
