walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
