I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
