The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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