I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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