Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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