don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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