Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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