he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
