this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
