My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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