Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
