FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
