her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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