This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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