Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
